Everyone has one of those days when they look at their newsfeed on Facebook and say “What in the world……. Why am I friends with these people?!”
Unfortunately, whether they are family members or really good friends who are actually fantastic in person, some people just don’t have a good hold on what to post.
You can’t delete them, but what you can do though, is hide their posts.
These are my top 5 reasons why I may or may not choose to hide someones posts.
- Radical Political/Religious Views (and the need to share them)
As a non-religious person who has no real interest in politics, I generally look at people who have a very strong interest in either as being slightly insane.
I am all for people having the right to believe, think, and say anything they want to. I mean, you can stick cotton up your butt and tell me that you’re part of the Easter Bunny Party and as long as you aren’t asking me to join we’ll be just ducky.
Where I begin to have a problem is when people post something every .3 seconds about their personal flavor of crazy.
Yes I know that it’s incredibly unfair that they won’t let you on the ballot as a legitimate party, and I have read over your petition trying to demand the right to hop around the senate as a form of protest, but as sorry as I am to not be privy to the conversation you and your other fluffy butt friends are having in the comment section of your 16th post of the day…… I’m afraid that I’m going to have to remove you from my feed.
- Emotional Joyrides
We have all seen this person.
They usually fit into one of two categories of emotional over-sharing.
Members of the first category are usually pretty chipper. With walls full of pictures of puppies and kittens and status updates that read “Good morning world! I am happy as a clam and I want to share my overbearingly good mood with all the non-morning people in my facebook family who are still pouting into their cups of coffee!” But just as soon as they upload a picture of them with “THE CUTEST HEDGEHOG YOU’VE EVER SEEEEEN” then it’s time for a stroll through meltdown town.
“My world feels like it’s reeling out of control! I’m asking for good vibes and prayers(see section 1)to get me through this rough patch! L”
Neither are super annoying on their own but several months of constant emotional rollercoaster action can make anyone a little weary.
Then you have the other category, The chronic Debbie Downers.
These people aren’t even aware that you can post something with a happy feel to it. Social networking to them is basically a way to vent their frustration at the world and the people around them. They are masters of the artfully veiled hate letter to their ex-lover, the rant about the barista at their local coffee shop with too many holes in their face for their liking, and long statuses all about how much their life sucks. Whether it be about their financial, romantic, or everyday lives they’re going to find something to frown at and by god you’re gonna read all about it!
- People who Post Low Res Pictures of Their Dinner
Seriously? It’s annoying enough when people post really nice pictures of their food, let alone something that they’ve just thrown together and put on a plate at the end of a hard day when all they care about is making their stomach stop making that godawful sound.
“You are Not Cthulu tummy, be quiet!”
Food Porn is called that for a reason. You’re supposed to look at it and almost fry your keyboard with drool. Why would I drool at a fuzzy, too dark, photo of the mac ‘n’ cheese that you just made from the box? I have that in my cupboard right now!
………….Hey…. What are you doing? …………NO!
Put. The. Instagram. DOWN!
There isn’t a filter in the world that’s gonna make that travesty better!
Just STAHP
UGH! Unfollowed!
- People Who Post Spoilers
Fuck you.
No seriously, fuck you!
The only reason that I’m hiding your posts instead of just deleting you is because you share my love for whatever incredibly dorky subject that we happened to have bonded over.
You should know better! YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!!
Ok….. Ok I’m alright…..
- People You Can’t Bare To See Right Now
It doesn’t matter what this person did or didn’t do, but right now they’ve made you so angry or hurt you so bad that you cannot stand to look at their big dumb faces anymore. It doesn’t matter if you’re super interested in their thoughts on the hockey game or how much that article they posted about the cool new app they found really gets your nerd juices flowing. All it takes is seeing their name or picture and you feel like you’ve swallowed a mouthful of battery acid. But instead of deleting them in the midst of a toddler style tantrum, the adult in your head knows that it’s better to just tuck their posts away for a while until you’re feeling better about the situation.
So that’s it, those are the most common reasons that I will choose to hide someones posts.
For the record, this isn’t about not liking someone or being mean. It’s about keeping things neat and tidy and spoiler free. After all, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t have added you……..Unless you send me a game request. I don’t care who you are, if I see Candy Crush come up on my newsfeed I will delete you faster than #3 can apply a Cross Process filter to the picture of chicken noodle soup they just took. The can is still in the picture! Gahhhhhhh!
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